Saturday, May 1, 2010

We're winning the war!

This was previously posted on on or before 2006-04-26:

34 years after Nixon went to China to talk some sense into Chairman Mao, the so-called ping-pong diplomacy, unmistakable evidence proves the final nail in the coffin in our war against international communism: The first Hooters has opened in Shanghai this week, to be followed later this Summer by 3 more, including Beijing.

Why aren't we opening a few of these in Saudi Arabia, Iran, Iraq and Syria? Clearly, that would loosen up some of their kooky antics. Generally, I believe the U.S. has been focused too little on allowing the appeal of modern American cultural commercialism to persuade those kinds of folks to rid themselves of all of that religious nonsense.

May I suggest we tell Rupert Murdoch and Charlie Ergen, among others, to direct their satellites to those countries, beaming loads of HBO, MTV, The Shopping Channel, Discovery, The History Channel, Showtime, Starz, FOX and MSNBC to all of those seemingly angry and bored people covered in bee-keeper suits. Hey, maybe a little CNBC could make them into good capitalists, opening up accounts at Schwab and watching Jim Cramer's MAD MONEY religiously instead of bending over on a carpet five times a day and listening to some dude making noises akin to a cow with stomach ache.

Much more productive! I bet those regimes would be gone in a quarter, replaced by a massive Hong-Kong asking for their MTV and tax cuts, getting government off their backs. And then they will look with admiration to what Ronald Reagan did 25 years ago as opposed to what Mohammed did 2500 years ago, or whenever it may have been. Boyakasha! Respek.